Sliders, Demons, etc
by Deus X Machina
Summary: [The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya] The SOS Brigade members aren't the only special people around. In this series of short stories, the Brigade encounters others who were made special due to Haruhi's active imagination.
1. Masakazu Shinta

**Sliders, Demons, etc.**

**Masakazu Shinta**

I placed another Othello piece in the corner of the board, where it could not be reversed. Koizumi Itsuki, my opponent, seemed blissfully unaware of the strategic advantage this gave me despite playing this game with me several times. I found it odd that Koizumi could be so bad at every board game in existence despite his ostentatious intelligence and his (I suspected) ability to read minds.

Perhaps there was some ulterior motive in Koizumi's losing streak. Maybe he wanted to throw me off his tail and keep me from realizing that he could actually read minds. Perhaps his plot was as convoluted as Ocean's 12.

Koizumi looked up at me, his mouth shaped in a perfect teen idol smile. "You're suspicious of me."

Aha! So you can read minds.

"No, but I'm quite good at reading facial expressions. I assure you, prying into your private thoughts is not something I'd try to do."

"Here you are," said a soft and perfectly feminine voice. Asahina Mikuru, dressed up in her tight-fitting maid outfit, set a cup of tea down on the table next to me.

"It's a new kind of tea. I hope you like it," she said before retreating to her seat.

Asahina-san, Aphrodite herself would abandon Olympus and its divine ambrosia simply for a sip of tea graced by your hands. Then she would see you and surrender to you her position as the goddess of beauty.

Sitting in the corner reading was the SOS Brigade's resident alien, Nagato Yuki. She sat so still that the most enlightened Buddha would be in awe. Her eyes were fixed on the heavy European book in front of her and not a single muscle (or whatever it was that made her body move) twitched. Some would see her and wonder if she had any awareness of the world around her. But there was no doubt in my mind that she was aware of even the tiniest, most imperceptible detail in this room and beyond it.

And spaced out in front of the Brigade's stolen and completely unneeded computer was our fearless leader, Suzumiya Haruhi. Every so often she'd take her hand off her mouse and curl her fingers into claws. I think she was trying to learn how to concentrate her spirit energy from a website made by an overzealous Dragonball Z fan. What's sad is that I would not be the least bit surprised if she actually managed it. It was her fault that I was trapped in a world filled with anime clichés coming to life.

Haruhi seemed preoccupied with learning the Kamehameha Wave, so I held strongly to the hope that I would get through this school day without anything weird happening. No giant crickets or glowing blue monsters today, thank you.

My hopes plummeted into the black pit of my gut when I heard a knock at the clubroom door.

The knock seemed to elicit similar reactions from my fellow club members. Asahina-san sat up straight like a startled kitten. Koizumi, hunched over like a ninja waiting in shadow, focused his gaze carefully towards the door. Even Nagato moved her eyes a couple millimeters to the side.

"Wah-hah!" Haruhi leapt over the computer's monitor (she's very athletic) and onto our table. Her shoes clomping loudly on the table, she skipped merrily to the door and pulled it open.

You know how every time you hear about a serial killer, his friends mention how normal and upstanding he was? How he was normal and even charming? But when you see a picture of him, you get a vibe that this guy is messed up? With that in mind, let me say that the boy at the door looked like a serial killer. His skin was pale and eerily smooth. He wore gold-rimmed glasses that added to his whole "wolf in sheep's clothing" look. Yet no father would object to his daughter dating him.

"Welcome to the SOS Brigade!" Haruhi said cheerily. "I'm Brigade Chief Suzumiya Haruhi and these are my subordinates." She waved her hand at us. "Have you encountered something mysterious? Ghosts or UFOs? Or maybe demons that only you can see?"

"No, it's nothing like that." The newcomer stepped into the clubroom, slowly turning his gold-rimmed gaze on each of us. His eyes seemed to linger just a moment longer on me.

…

No, not like that!

He looked at me and smiled to himself, as if I were an element in one of his private jokes.

"My name is Masakazu Shinta. I'd like to apply for membership."

Aaaaaaand the slider has appeared.

Crap.

**XXXXX**

After Haruhi dismissed us for the day, I followed Masakazu on the way out of school. Once we were in a sufficiently private area, I called out to him. "Yo, Masakazu!"

He turned to me. "Yes? Kyon, right?"

"Actually my name is… forget it. Everyone calls me Kyon anyways."

"So what's up?"

Not in the mood to beat around the bush, I just said it. "You're from another dimension, aren't you."

Masakazu burst out laughing. His teeth were blindingly white. He kept laughing for so long that I felt my face grow hot.

"Hahahahahaha…" 

Maybe he wasn't a slider.

"Hahahahahahaha…"

He was probably just some misguided kid who thought that it would be cool to join the mysterious SOS Brigade.

"Hahahahahahaha…"

I felt like an ass.

"Ha ha ha yes."

"What?"

"I'm from another dimension. A 'slider' as Suzumiya-san puts it. I was just laughing at your bluntness. But considering the people you've met, it's to be expected."

So he knew about the others. "So what's your interest in Haruhi?" I asked

"That's my business. Later, Kyon." Masakazu turned and walked away.

Hey! No fair! All the others were perfectly honest about their interest in Haruhi. Come back here! It's time for an info dump, you jerk!

**XXXXX**

I sat at my desk, puzzling over my homework. Of course, I couldn't concentrate. How could I? There was yet another wild card in my completely messed up life. Koizumi, Nagato, Asahina-san, and now Masakazu. Things are getting out of control.

"KYON!" My little sister shouted my nickname as she threw open my door Haruhi-style and bounced happily into my room. She waved the cordless phone in my face. "Phone call."

I plucked the phone from her grasp and shooed her out of the room. "Hello?"

"Kyon?"

"Masakazu. What's up?"

"Sorry about before," he said in a voice that did not hold a speck of sincerity. "I still can't tell you why I'm so interested in Haruhi, but I can give you the next best thing."

"What's that?"

"Proof that I'm really a slider."

At this point, I didn't really need proof but, "Okay. When?"

"Right now a good time for you?"

"Right now? Wait, where are you?" The line went dead.

A hand clapped on my shoulder. "Right behind you."

"Gaah!" I jumped and tumbled out of my chair. The phone went flying. Masakazu stood over me, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "H-how did you get in here?"

"For people who perfected inter-dimensional travel, simple teleportation is child's play. It's all based on wormhole technology."

I sensed an info dump coming. It's about time.

"Think of wormholes as tunnels that connect every point in space together and even bridge the gap between dimensions. Wormholes allow you to go from point A to point B without having to travel the distance between them." There was a bit more to it, but that was about all I understood.

He took hold of my wrist. "I'll show you." He helped me up and began to pull me, leading me towards the wall of my bedroom.

Then everything became a blur. My room rushed by me. Looking forward, the only static object I saw was a big red door with a brass knob. Masakazu pulled that door open and led me into a place that resembled an abandoned warehouse. He shut the door behind me.

I looked around at the bare concrete walls. "Is this your world?"

"No, this room is its own dimension, created by the people I work for. It's not a part of any larger dimension. Not yours, mine, or anyone else's."

Before I could ask why anyone would create a place like this at all, I heard the red door open behind me. "This is so weird," said a new but strangely familiar voice.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Masakazu.

"I just wanted to stop by and see my counterpart," said the newcomer. I turned to look at him. My jaw fell open.

He looked exactly the same as me.

"Hello, handsome," he greeted me. I responded with confused babble.

"Let me explain," said Masakazu. "Between our two dimensions, everyone has a counterpart. Somewhere in your world, there's another Masakazu Shinta. In my world, there's another you and likely another Suzumiya, Koizumi, and Asahina. Or at least there will be another Asahina."

Masakazu pulled open the red door, revealing my bedroom. Motioning to Bizarro-Kyon, he said, "Get going." The handsome boy headed for my room.

"Hey! You can't go in there," I said. I ran at Bizarro-Kyon, trying to stop him. I barely heard Masakazu's "Wait! Stop!" as I grabbed my doppelganger's arm.

A terrible shock burst from my hand and through my body. The pain was immeasurable. It felt like my entire arm was about to come off. For a moment, my right hand disappeared from my senses. It was as if it had disappeared.

"Idiot!" Masakazu shoved me away. Almost instantly, the pain disappeared and the feeling in my hand returned. "You okay?" he asked Bizarro-Kyon. My inter-dimensional counterpart nodded weakly.

Masakazu turned to me. "Idiot," he said again. "The two of you are opposites."

"What?" Well, excuse me if I'm not well-versed in the intricacies of inter-dimensional quantum physics.

"Let me put it this way. If he's positive one, then you're negative one. Put the two of you together, and you get zero. That's why you can't touch each other. Contact each other for too long and you both cease to exist."

"What's going on?" I yelled at him.

In response, Masakazu put a hand on his gold-rimmed glasses. There was a flash of light that appeared to reflect off his lens. My muscles tensed up and my body froze. My jaw locked up and I was unable to voice my protests.

"Get going, Kyon," Masakazu said to Bizarro-Kyon.

Bizarro-Kyon headed for the door. "Don't call me that. That nickname's stupid."

"Okay…Kyon."

Ha! You may have imprisoned me and taken my place in the world, but at least I got you stuck with a stupid nickname. Take that!

Masakazu shut the door behind Bizarro-Kyon only to open it again, revealing a sparsely furnished apartment that I assumed was the place he was staying. "Later," he said before he shut the big red door, leaving me alone in the concrete room.

Over time, the paralysis faded. Little by little I regained the ability to move. As soon as I could, I trudged towards the door and pulled it open, only to reveal an empty black void beyond the doorframe. I reached through it, only to be blocked by a rippling blue force field, similar to the walls of Haruhi's Closed Spaces. With a resigned sigh, I shut the door.

For an indeterminate amount of time, I wandered about the concrete cell, unsure of what to do. Several times I opened the door, only to be met with the same black void.

What did they want? Why would Bizarro-Kyon want to replace me in my world? It had something to do with Haruhi, there was no doubt about that. But what?

I pondered this question as I wandered about the cell, growing more restless, frustrated, and claustrophobic. I wanted out!

Then, like the long-awaited Second Coming of Christ that the Westerners believe in, I heard my salvation. Someone knocked on the door.

I scrambled up and threw the door open. I saw the whirling chaos of the wormhole, looking like a scrambled picture.

A glowing red blur formed in front of me, taking a vaguely humanoid shape.

"Koizumi?"

"Hurry, Kyon-kun. Jump in. You don't have much time." The red blur faded.

I didn't have to be told twice. I leapt into the wormhole. My journey through it was more violent and unstable than before. I tumbled through the open air as colored blurs spun rapidly around me. Finally, I felt hard, solid ground materialize beneath me and the whirling colors slowed and formed a coherent image. I was in Nagato's apartment.

"Kyon-kun!" A sobbing Asahina-san threw herself on top of me and buried her face in my chest. "You're safe! You're safe!" She hugged me tightly. It was such a sweet, heartbreaking sight that I embraced her back.

I looked up and saw that Asahina was accompanied by Koizumi and Nagato. In the background was a small group of teenagers escorted by stern-faced men in black suits and sunglasses.

Koizumi gently laid a hand on Asahina-san's shoulder and pulled her off of me (curse him!). "Kyon-kun, we know what Masakazu and that other Kyon did to you. Tell us, did you learn anything? Anything about their dimensions."

I told them everything I had heard about wormholes, counterparts, and how two touching counterparts cancel each other out. "But I don't know what they're planning or why they're so interested in Haruhi."

I looked around a the teens and their MIB bodyguards. "Your colleagues?" Koizumi nodded. Apparently, they had helped him break through to the dimension of the concrete room. He nodded to them and they left. They were dismissed.

"You said that when you and the other Kyon touched, you nearly destroyed each other," said Koizumi. I nodded. "And if I touched the other Itsuki, we'd destroy each other too," he said.

"Probably."

"Why should this principle be limited to human bodies?" Koizumi said. He tapped Nagato's wooden table. "Perhaps this table has a counterpart in their dimension and if they touch, they will cease to exist. Perhaps this principle applies to everything in our universe. Every rock, tree, star, and person. Perhaps our two universes are opposites."

"So our two universes may destroy each other?" I said.

"Which would give them motivation to destroy ours first. And if they wanted to do that, I can think of no weapon better than Suzumiya-san. That would explain the other Kyon's actions this past week."

"I've been gone a week?"

"Um, time does not pass at the same rate in dimensions that are not perfect opposites," said Asahina-san.

"Well, what are we going to do about Masakazu and Bizarro-Kyon?" I asked.

"You'll have to decide that very quickly." The door to Nagato's bedroom slid open, revealing Masakazu and Bizarro-Kyon. Masakazu's hand was once again on the frame of his glasses. Bizarro-Kyon, who was empty handed, reached behind his back and pulled out an assault rifle. I realized that the handsome boy had probably pulled it out of a wormhole.

I heard the telltale sound of Nagato's speedy incantations, twisting the universe around us. The windows disappeared and the doors became immovable parts of the walls.

"I have collapsed the wormholes that you used to enter this place," said Nagato. "You have no escape."

Another flash of light issued from Masakazu's glasses but this time, they apparently had no effect. A flash of red light issued from Koizumi's hand. Masakazu's glasses shattered, making his face satisfyingly bloody. Panicking, Bizarro-Kyon opened up with his assault rifle on full auto spraying bullets everywhere. Asahina-san shrieked and threw her arms over her head, cowering from the noise. Nagato chanted a wall of light in front of us. The bullets bounced off it harmlessly.

Clickclickclick. Bizarro-Kyon was out of ammo.

Koizumi became a red streak of light. He shot past them, causing them both to collapse on the ground.

The esper looked down on the two sliders. "You're outmatched," he said with his friendly smile. "I suggest you give up and leave."

"Or what?" gasped Masakazu.

"Neither of you are from this universe," said Koizumi. "Your deaths would go unnoticed."

"You've been defeated," I said. "You can't gain anything more from staying here. Just leave." Turning to Nagato, I said, "Can you make it so that the only wormholes they can use are the ones out of this dimension?"

She nodded. "This place is under my data jurisdiction. Any inter-dimensional travel from this space is under my control."

"This isn't over," said Bizarro-Kyon. As quick as the blink of an eye, the sliders disappeared.

Nagato began chanting again. The windows returned to her apartment and I once again got the feeling that I was connected with the outside world. Bizarro-Kyon's bullets disappeared.

"Are they back in their dimension?" I asked. Nagato gave a quick, curt nod.

"So what has Bizarro-Kyon been up to this past week?" I asked.

Koizumi smacked his fist into his palm, as if remembering something. "That reminds me, you have to get ready for tonight."

What?

Koizumi grinned. "For your date with Suzumiya-san."

_What?_

**XXXXX**

As I headed towards the appointed meeting place, I found myself wondering what Bizarro-Kyon's plan actually was. Had he truly intended to get Haruhi to destroy our world? How did this date factor into it all?

Perhaps he planned to build up Haruhi's hopes and get her attached to me, only to pull the rug out from under her with a devastating and heartless breakup. Was that it? Was their master plan just a romantic comedy cliché?

Of course, that plan would require one important thing: that Haruhi be in love with me. That was a possibility that I was definitely not willing to consider. I ended that train of thought right there. This is just a date, I told myself.

Instead, I thought of the sliders, their world, and all the people in it. Despite all that those two subjected me to, I couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for them. All they had wanted to do was protect their world.

I saw Haruhi waiting for me at the movie theater. "One and a half minutes late. Penalty." She lacked her characteristic harshness when she said it. Her tone made me think that she wouldn't actually enforce the penalty. In fact, everything about Haruhi seemed…subdued. As if she had calmed down. And the way she looked at me…

She wouldn't look into my eyes. Her little hand was curled at her chin. Her cheeks were tinged with red. And she had tied her short hair into a ponytail. Oh dear. That Bizarro-Kyon must have been a real charmer.

We saw a sci-fi movie about aliens. It was actually pretty good. Over dinner, Haruhi went on and on about how great the movie was, her plans for the SOS Brigade, her plot bunnies for the next Mikuru movie, and so much else. I could hardly get a word in edgewise.

"Haruhi," I said, making sure my tone was somber and serious.

Haruhi, surprisingly enough, quieted down. "Yeah?"

"Have you ever heard of a situation where there are two good parties yet for one to survive, the other has to be harmed?"

"Wha?" said Haruhi.

"Aren't those situations just terrible? No matter what the outcome, someone who doesn't deserve it will get hurt."

There was a moment of silent introspection as Haruhi contemplated my words. Then she was back to her old self. "Whatever!" She continued on her monologue about the next Mikuru movie, wondering what costumes Asahina-san should be forced into. But that was all right with me. I knew my words had had some kind of effect.

Masakazu, Bizarro-Kyon, I hope that your physicists detect some kind of change that will allow our two worlds to coexist. I hope everything turns out the best for all of us.


	2. Minase Yura

**Sliders, Demons, etc.**

**Minase Yura**

"Kyon!"

The moment I walked into my classroom, a smiling Haruhi grabbed me and squeezed me to her chest like a hyperactive little girl hugging her favorite toy. Which, by the way, describes my relationship with Haruhi perfectly.

This sort of greeting had become routine in the days since Haruhi and I started "dating," yet it never ceased to draw the amazed stares of my classmates. Taniguchi was particularly flustered.

"I don't get it," Taniguchi had said to me several days ago. "Just what does she see in you? You're the most ordinary, average person ever! What happened to the girl who wanted to have sex with aliens?"

I hadn't answered, leaving Taniguchi to the Haruhi/tentacle hentai fantasy that was probably running through his mind.

…

That sounded_ really_ perverted.

You didn't think I could top "Ponytails turn me on," did you? Anyways…

Whenever Taniguchi spoke of my relationship with Haruhi, his tone always seemed tinged with bitterness and jealousy. I've long suspected that Taniguchi was one of Haruhi's many short-term boyfriends, perhaps even the one who lasted only five minutes. Taniguchi, you should not envy me. Having a place in the heart of a living god is like walking in a minefield. One wrong move and the whole thing blows up. If I could, Taniguchi, I'd make her yours in a heartbeat.

I take that back. I wouldn't wish such a curse on anyone.

We took our seats and started the homeroom session. Okabe-sensei went through some brief announcements. The door slid open, as expected. I glanced in that direction, expecting to see our usual first period teacher.

Instead I saw a tall, blonde girl with a condescending smirk that seemed to be aimed at everyone.

"Class," said Okabe-sensei, "we have a new student."

"Kyon!" Haruhi pulled the back of my chair. As expected, I fell back and hit my head on her desk. I didn't bother to protest. "It's a mysterious trans…fer…" As Haruhi's voice faded away, I could almost sense the enthusiasm being sucked right out of her. For some reason, that made me feel profoundly sad. I looked back at her and saw that her eyes were downcast and her shoulders were hunched down. For the first time since I met her, Haruhi avoided drawing attention to herself. She just wanted to fade into the background.

I looked up at the newcomer. "My name is Minase Yura." There was more to her introduction, but I didn't notice it. I would have found her incredibly beautiful if it weren't for the aura of sheer unpleasantness she gave off. It was as if her presence sucked every good feeling I'd ever had right out of me. When I looked at her, the air itself seemed to darken. And I wasn't alone in that feeling, judging by my classmates' body language. They all seemed to slump, as if their will to live had gotten just a bit weaker. I wish I knew the Patronus charm.

That school day was perhaps the unhappiest experience of my life. My heart had turned to lead and I knew it was Minase's doing. This had Haruhi written all over it.

When the lunch bell rang, Haruhi high-tailed it out of the classroom as usual. I took my lunch box and sat down with Taniguchi and Kunikida.

After some idle banter, I brought up the new transfer student. "Say, Taniguchi, I hear that Minase girl went to you and Haruhi's old school." I hadn't actually heard that from anyone, but phrasing it that way made it seem less random.

"Yeah, we were all in the same class together," said Taniguchi. His voice lost a bit of its friendliness when he asked, "Did Haruhi tell you?"

"Yeah," I lied. "So you're all old friends?"

"Hell no!" said Taniguchi. "I thought that the best thing about leaving junior high was that I wouldn't have to deal with that bitch again. And Haruhi probably felt that way too."

As he said that, Minase Yura approached him from behind. My blood ran cold as she heard what Taniguchi said next.

"There's probably no one who hates Minase Yura more than Haruhi."

"Is that so?" asked Minase. Taniguchi's jaw fell open. He stared straight at me, too afraid to turn around.

"You know, Taniguchi, you really should get over Haruhi. Pining after her for so long isn't healthy," said Minase. She turned to me. "You should have seen Taniguchi during his term as Haruhi's boyfriend." She clapped Taniguchi on the shoulder. "How long was it? Ten minutes?"

"Five," Taniguchi mumbled, his eyes on his lap. I don't think he meant to say it. It just slipped out.

Having demeaned Taniguchi enough, Minase went back to talking as if he wasn't there. "For those five minutes, Taniguchi had this giant grin on his face. He was so in love. Then, when Haruhi broke it off, he was crying. He was seriously _crying_ in class." Minase recounted Taniguchi's humiliation with great enthusiasm.

Through all this, Taniguchi stayed still, staring at his lap as he was reminded of what was probably his most painful and embarrassing experience. His shoulders started to shake. He brushed a sleeve against his downcast face.

Something in my friend snapped and he stood up. His tear-stained face glared not at Minase but at me. Taniguchi stomped out of the classroom.

For the rest of the school day, I was tense and depressed. Taniguchi had not returned to class after lunch and Haruhi's mood had darkened even more. She was silent throughout class, without poking me or slamming my head into her desk once.

When the final bell rang, I headed to the clubroom out of habit, only to find an uncharacteristically curt note taped to the door.

**Meeting cancelled**

**-Haruhi**

"No meeting today?"

Koizumi stood behind me with his idiotic grin. "Obviously not," I answered. Then I noticed that his face was sweaty and his breathing was shallow. "Rough gym class?"

"Shinjin," he answered. "And they were particularly powerful."

"Does this have anything to do with…"

"Minase Yura?" Koizumi finished for me. "Yes." He pulled open the clubroom door. "We'll talk in here."

Shutting the door behind him, Koizumi and I sat down in our usual spots. "Minase Yura was Haruhi's tormentor in junior high school."

"Yeah, Taniguchi told me that. Apparently, she targeted many people."

"Not at the beginning," said Koizumi. "I like to think of myself as an expert in Suzumiya-san's inner mental workings."

I'm telling you all, he can read minds!

"The Suzumiya-san in junior high was nothing like the spirited, charming Suzumiya-san we know today."

One out of two ain't bad.

"Her self-esteem was very fragile. She was quiet and shy, afraid to provoke the ridicule of others. She did anything she could to keep from getting noticed," Koizumi continued. "When Suzumiya-san started acting the way she does now, it was initially as a cover to the insecurities Minase awoke in her. Suzumiya-san's resolve weakened during her time away from Minase and with her childhood tormentor's sudden appearance, her old insecurities have returned."

"Well, why can't Haruhi just wish her away into the cornfield or something? For that matter, why did Minase come here if Haruhi clearly didn't want it?"

"I believe Suzumiya-san did want it, at least subconsciously," said Koizumi. "When Suzumiya-san left junior high, she _escaped_ from Minase. What triumph is there in escaping? What she wants is a confrontation with Minase in order to defeat her. But I should warn you that Minase is not an ordinary human."

I expected that.

"Suzumiya-san has projected all sorts of negative traits onto Minase, giving her several powers that give her a 'demonic' appearance." Koizumi used those irritating little air quotes. "Minase has become Suzumiya-san's archetype for evil. If Suzumiya-san is God, then you could call Minase the Devil. Did you sense a great feeling of negativity when Minase was near?"

Mind reader. "Yes," I answered.

"That is one of the traits Suzumiya-san gave her. Now everyone who meets Minase feels some of what Suzumiya-san felt from her."

"So what do we do about her? Perform an exorcism?" I asked.

Koizumi shook his head. "We should not interfere. This is a fight Suzumiya-san must take for herself." He got up and slid his chair under the table. "But I get the feeling that you'll be an important factor in this, Kyon-kun. Suzumiya-san has a great emotional investment in you."

Investment? What, am I some new stock option?

"I mean that her emotional state relies heavily on you. You mean more to her than you realize. That gives you great power and great responsibility."

Thank you, Uncle Ben.

"Kyon," Koizumi said sternly, his plastic smile disappearing. "Suzumiya-san loves you. I know that for sure. Your influence over her self-esteem is great. Be prepared to use that influence soon."

**XXXXX**

There was no giant bear-hug for me when I came into the classroom the next morning, leading to presumptuous speculations that Haruhi and I had broken up. Our conversations consisted of me asking a question, Haruhi responding with a monosyllable, and a long awkward silence while I tried to think of something else to say. The few times Haruhi did speak, she spoke quietly, as if afraid to attract Minase's attention.

Haruhi didn't cancel today's meeting, but it was unusually subdued. We went about our usual routine. Koizumi and I played a game, Asahina-san served her heavenly tea, Nagato read a book, and Haruhi sat at the computer.

I took another sip of tea, wondering if Asahina-san brewed it with holy water. Perhaps I could douse Minase with some to end Haruhi's problems.

No. The end of the world is a small price for an extra cup of this tea.

_Knock knock!_ We were all startled from our reverie by the sound at the door. I glanced at Haruhi, half-expecting her to cheer and throw open the door at the prospect of a new client and a new adventure. She simply stared at her screen, not giving any indication that she'd heard the knock. Sighing, I got up and pulled open the door.

"Yo, Suzumiya!" said Minase. She tried to push past me.

"What are you doing here, Minase?" I asked.

Minase held up a folded piece of paper. My heart sank when I saw that it was one of those old SOS Brigade fliers with that embarrassing creed. "I saw this retarded ad for Haruhi's club," she said. She read from the flier in a mocking voice, "People who have experienced something mysteeeeeerious in the past...People who have run into something mysteeeeerious recently...People who plan on mysteeeeeerious experience in the near future…" By the time she finished reading, Haruhi's face was bright red and her lower lip was quivering.

"Haruhi, do you have any social life besides these four?" asked Minase. "And do you honestly think any of them actually believes in the shit you're searching for? You're just pathetic!"

A blue-sleeved arm snapped across my field of vision. Its hand slapped Minase across the face. The sound echoed in the silent clubroom.

Whose hand was that? It took a moment for my brain to confirm the stinging sensation across the back of my hand. Yep, that was me.

Minase's expression was full of disbelief. How could anyone hit _her_? With her disbelieving face and single red cheek, Minase silently left the clubroom, politely shutting the door behind her.

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I saw Haruhi smile.

**XXXXX**

That night, my parents had left to see my little sister's school play. I stayed behind at home using homework as an excuse. The truth was that I did not want to sit through an hour-long performance that would make Miracle Mikuru look Oscar-worthy.

I sat at my desk, reading through the assigned chapter in my history textbook. By "reading," I mean the kind of reading where your eyes skim over the words and somehow fail to transmit the information to your brain. You know what I'm talking about.

A rather large fly buzzed and landed on my book's page. I brushed it off, only to have it return with a friend. Then a third fly joined them, then a fourth, then a fifth. Only then I noticed the faint buzzing all around me.

My bedroom window, which was opened just a crack, was covered in flies scurrying over the glass with more and more managing to find their way inside. I threw open the door to my room, only to find more swarms of bugs infesting the hallway.

A sharp pain exploded across the back of my head, making me fall to my knees. I turned and saw my reading lamp, which had been on the other side of the room, lying on the floor beside me. Its metal shell was smeared with my blood. How had it gotten here?

I got my answer when I saw books, toys, and even my desk levitate and hurl themselves at me. The last thing I heard was the bugs' buzzing in my ears as they swarmed over me.

**XXXXX**

_Kyon! Kyon!_

Haruhi…

_Kyon! Kyon! _"Kyon, wake up!" I felt someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw Haruhi.

Haruhi's face melted into that relieved smile she wore after we'd fallen off a cliff together during Koizumi's island stunt. She embraced me. Not the possessive squeeze she gave me every morning but a soft, gentle hug usually reserved for the one you loved.

"What's going on?" I groaned. "Where are we?"

"The roof of the school," said Haruhi. "How did you get here? You were in the hospital for three days. And what happened to all your injuries?"

What? Hospital? Injuries? I looked around and saw that the world had once again turned gray. I looked up and saw black. Not the clear black sky of the night but the solid black ceiling of Closed Space.

Haruhi and I approached the fence that surrounded the roof, surveying the school grounds.

I saw some movement. "Hey, what's that?" I pointed.

Haruhi squinted, trying to focus on the moving blur of light gray against the dark gray background. "What's she doing here?" she whispered.

"Who?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Yura."

Apparently, "Yura" was the magical trigger word. The moment Haruhi spoke the name of her nemesis, the ground below became a pool of blue light. The light concentrated and grew into the gigantic, humanoid body of a Shinjin.

Haruhi stared at the glowing giant with an expression usually reserved for monks attaining enlightenment. Her hand closed around mine. "I understand, Kyon."

"Understand what?"

"I know what this thing is," said Haruhi. Her voice turned steely as the Shinjin turned its red gaze on Minase. "It's me!"

Haruhi raised her arm and brought it down like a hammer. As she did this, the Shinjin did the same move, its boulder-sized fist crushing the pavement.

Minase sprouted wings of flame from her back and took off into the air, flying around the Shinjin as if it were King Kong. A stream of fire erupted from her hand, covering the Shinjin's right shoulder in flames.

"Oh no, you don't!" Haruhi swiped her hand through the air. The Shinjin swatted Minase like a bug. She was flung through the wall of the school but, since Haruhi's world runs on the laws of anime physics, Minase was able to take to the air again, injured but still strong.

"Suzumiya!" Minase roared, her mouth spewing a stream of fire and black smoke at the Shinjin. "Don't you know why I can do all this?"

The Shinjin lowered its arms to its sides.

"It's you, Suzumiya. It's the way you hunch down in your desk whenever I'm near. It's the way your heart stops whenever I open my mouth. It's you taking the long way home so that you won't run into me! It's your insecurity. Your fear is what gives me my power!"

Minase held out her arms and let loose her strongest burst of fire, which streamed over the Shinjin. The blue giant roared in pain but did nothing. Haruhi stood there, mouth agape.

I felt her hand tighten its hold on mine. It pulled me just a little closer to her.

Haruhi's jaw closed and tightened. "I'm not afraid of you any more, Yura!" The Shinjin raised its fist one final time. Its punch caught Minase and slammed her into the ground, making the earth itself shake.

The Shinjin froze, holding its fist in the crater it made just a little bit longer. The giant removed its arm, showing Minase in the crater. The flames that formed her wings were dying, turning to ash and smoke.

Worry hit me. "Is she…"

I didn't get a chance to ask about Minase's status. Already I was hearing the cracking sound as the Closed Space disappeared. The Shinjin roared one final time as it disintegrated and the Closed Space once again collapsed into a blue whirl of light surrounding Haruhi and I. The light was so brilliant that I could no longer see her. I could barely make out her voice saying the words, "Kyon, thank you."

Out of habit, I said, "You're welcome" though I don't think she heard me.

I woke up in a hospital bed, clothed in bandages and smelling of ointment. I was, once again, in a hospital room.

"Errgh…" I heard someone grumble. Turning as far as the bandages would allow, I looked over the side of my bed and saw Haruhi stirring in a sleeping bag on the floor. She struggled to open her eyes.

"Kyon?" she said, her voice faint. "You're awake?"

"Yeah," I answered. "What happened?"

Suddenly wide awake, Haruhi scrambled out of her sleeping bag, revealing her Roswell alien pajamas, and stood over me. "You were attacked by bug swarms and struck several times. You've been unconscious for three days." Her eyes started to tear up. "The doctors didn't know what those bugs put in you. How do you feel?"

I considered her question. I felt no pain. "I think I'm all right."

Haruhi pushed the call button. "I'll get a nurse."

The nurse came in and looked under my bandages. She said that when I first came in here, I was literally covered in boils and sores and I had several injuries from being hit by blunt objects. Now the sores, cuts, and bruises were gone.

"I've been in nursing for a long time," she said, "and I've never seen such a quick healing of such terrible injuries. This is almost miraculous. Perhaps God is looking out for you."

I glanced at Haruhi out of the corner of my eye. "Yeah, maybe."

**XXXXX**

Haruhi had stayed by my side for the entire three days, so the nurse sent her home to rest. A couple blood tests and examinations verified my "miraculous" recovery and I was told that I would be discharged the next day.

Koizumi came to visit me. "You'll be pleased to know that Minase Yura has requested a transfer from our school."

"There's something I need to know," I said. "Haruhi gained her victory against Minase in the Closed Space, but she probably thinks it's all a dream. What good will that do her in the real world?"

"Suzumiya-san has subconsciously regained her confidence," said Koizumi. "Not to mention she has humbled Minase Yura."

"So the old Haruhi will be back," I said. The thought didn't make me the least bit unhappy.

"Yes, Kyon. And don't forget your role in all this. Suzumiya-san drew much of her confidence simply from your presence. You stopped Minase and saved the world again. You have much to be proud of."

Koizumi and I went over a few more trivial details before he left. Taniguchi and Kunikida paid me a visit. Taniguchi gave me a man's apology. Not a tearful "I'm sorry" followed by hugs and kisses. Just sitting down with me and talking with me as if everything between us had always been cool. When Haruhi was brought up, the bitterness that once tinged his voice was gone.

And when I arrived at school the next day, I was greeted with a big hug from Haruhi.


End file.
